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Its very definitely over. He doesn’t want anything to do with me at all. I just don’t understand as we were fine and then all of a sudden he’s left. I don’t know what to do with myself. We’ve spoken and I asked about what we are going to do on Isobels due date as we were going to scatter her ashes and plant and Isobel rose bush for her but he said he ‘cant do that day’ – as in her due date, as he’s going racing with the lads. I just don’t know what to think, fair enough he doesn’t want to be with me but how can he deny her memory? She’ll always be his daughter and its like he doesn’t care about that either now.
xx
He’s point blank refused any counselling, he wouldnt even come to the last sands meeting with me and that was before he walked out.
He’s adamant that its nothing to do with Isobel, he just says he doesnt love me and that that. I’m so lost right now, I have some lovely friends around me but I keep expecting him to come home, I keep making coffee for him etc. I just feel so empty and alone, I love him so much its unbearable, I just wish there was some way we could be together but he’s having none of it, its over and I have to carry on somehow without him or Isobel.xx
Well I’ve just seen message he’s been sending to his ex’s and other girls asking if they still have a boyfriend etc. As far as I was concerned we are still together and he just needed space, it turns out he’s moved on and is looking for the next woman!
Hi all,
I’m really sorry I didn’t make it, have been struggling for the last week or so, really really low. I just miss being pregnant – all my friends are in the third trimester now, my partners been working away, mothers day too and my divorce from ex-h on the horizon too its all just got too much for me. If anyone is on facebook I’m on there more often my email is katieamcgregor@gmail.com and my profile pic is Isobels hand print xx
I’m really scared to be honest, I haven’t been in since the 17th January before ‘everything’ happening.
Where does everyone fancy meeting up?
xx
Fridays are best for me as I’m starting back at work next week – eak! :S
How about Friday the 8th?
Kt xx
Hi ladies, if you’re still meeting up tomorrow can someone pm me and let me know when and how I’ll know you all 🙂 No worries if not, hopefully meet you all soon xxxx
Isobels funeral was beautiful, it was so hard and I don’t remember much to be honest but I know the sun was shining and the flowers were beautiful and I remember signing ‘You are my sunshine’ with Matt. We’ve just heard that we have some ashes too which (I know this sounds odd) is brilliant as we were warned we may not have any, I’m so glad we do so we can bring our baby girl home where she belongs.
I know some people took pictures and we took one of both of our hands holding her coffin, I can’t look at them but its reassuring to know there are there if we did want to look at the one day.
xx
Hi Stacey,
So sorry to read your story. The ladies on this forum have helped me so much already and I’m sure you’ll find the same, all of our stories are different but we have one shared feeling, losing a child. I hope you can find some comfort here and welcome to the forum.
Katie xxx
Oh Clare I’m so sorry to read what happened, it makes me so cross how mindless some people can be, I hope you’re as ok as can be (((hugs)))
Katie xxx
Thank you, today feels even worse than yesterday, I just keep sinking – I had no idea I could feel this awful, I just want to scream and have my baby back, I’d do anything to hold her in my arms, it hurts too much at the moment. I’ve contacted my counsellor to see if she can fit me in at all as I’m scaring myself now and I know Matt’s struggling to cope with me, he’s still being very wonderful but I’m not helping him at all and I’m worried he’s going to run out of patience. He keeps telling me to be strong but I don’t want to be, I know that sounds so defeatist but I really don’t, I want to stay curled up under the duvet and hold Isobel’s baby grow that she was blessed in, it smells of her and I want to hold her again. We agreed on Friday that we wouldn’t go and see her again after we dressed her ready for Thursday but I want to see her so much, I can’t bear the thought that I’m not going to see her or hold her again, she’s my baby and I want her back and I want to scream myself hoarse and cry and shut the whole world out until I can find a way to have her back but I know that can never happen. I’ve just read this back and I realise I sound completely nuts, I just genuinely don’t know what to do, I haven’t slept for days and the sleeping tablets prescribed for me aren’t working, I literally lay awake all night crying and missing her and then morning comes and I do the same all day.
