tough couple of weeks

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    Eva’s mummy

      Hello all these last couple of weeks for me have been very tough going. I never thought I could feel like this 5 years on from losing Callum. His birthday was on 10th September and he should have been 5 also starting school this so far has been the worst for me since losing Callum I have been very tearful and even writing this now brings tears to my eyes. I just feel like I have been just to busy and time is passing by to quickly maybe I havent greived properly for him and its just alll starting to come out now.
      I always thought I coped very well but not lately. Maybe its cause Its a bigger milestone I dont know. Liam and Alicia keep me very busy along with Julians other children. Trouble is Julian doesnt like to talk about it and I feel I need to. I think of him every day and am constantly running through what happened from beggining to end. For those of you who dont know I lost Callum at 42 weeks after a very healthy pregnancy with no problems what so ever with the post mortem revealing nothing was wrong.
      Maybe now his birthday day has been and gone again I may start to feel a little happier as I worry a long time before these things actually come round.

      THanks for listening.
      Rach xx

      Pork Chops

        Hey Rach,
        thanks for sharing your feelings with us, it’s really is so sad the milestones we have to go through, n I’m sure the starting school one is a massive one, there is no time limit to grieving,you might have been fine for a while, but no matter how many years go by… Things will build up and just get the better of you. Your only human Rach, grieving for Callum is natural, he’s your son.
        Tim is also similar to Julian in the fact he doesn’t like to talk about it, or his feeling now, or mine. I think that’s just maybe how men deal with it.
        I’m sending you a massive cuddle, here if you need to chat,
        Sarah x


          Hi Rach,
          I’m glad you found the strength to share your feelings. Milestones are always hard, no matter how many days, weeks or years have passed. Starting school is a huge one as I found out when applying for Alice’s school place.

          Life does tend to take over, especially when you’ve got two other gorgeous little one like Liam and Alicia. I used to wonder whether I’d grieved properly due to giving birth to Alice at the same time. But as Sarah said, there arnt any rules when it comes to grief. Just take each day as it comes. Just because Julian refuses to talk about his feelings, don’t let that stop you. We are all here with a listening ear and we will support you.
          Take care Rach
          Love Anne-Marie x x x


            Hi Rach.
            Sorry you are having a tough time. It can creep up on you anytime & as the others said, milestones can be hard. Others think time heals, to an extent it helps, but the pain never totally goes and sometimes it catches you out.
            Sorry Julian doesn’t want to talk. We are always here for you.
            Max, x

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