Children Are Butterflies › Butterflies Gathering – Discussion Groups and Forums › Welcome › New Members Introductions › Sarah and Tim’s story of Tyler
July 21, 2013 at 11:30 pm #1505Pork ChopsSpectator
When I 1st joined the forum in July 2011 I read through lots of other stories before deciding to write my story. It was by far the hardest post I had ever had to write but the response from the other parents that followed warmed my heart knowing I wasn’t alone.
The forum has changed to a newer modern one so I have decided to write my story again for the newer members and hope some of you write your stories too.
I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Tyler Jay England on 07.04.11 he was the last addition to our family as we already have Hayden who at the time was 19 months old and Tims daughter Miya who at the time was 5. My pregnancy was normal and labour was normal and delivery too, Tyler weighed 8lb15 a big boy 🙂 the weeks that followed, I got into a lovely routine juggling both my boys and miya at weekend and every thing seemed perfect 🙂 I took Tyler for his 6 week check when he was 6 weeks and 4 days and health visitor and doctor were very happy with how he was progressing. He weighed 13lb8 my little chunky monkey! On 26.05.11 our lives changed forever….Tyler was 7 weeks old , It was a very warm night and Tyler wasn’t the best at sleeping through the night and woke a couple of times, at around 5am I fed Tyler his bottle at 7.20 we woke and he was gone 🙁
I tried my hardest to resuscitate him and the 1st response team and the ambulance along with the doctor tried their best too…. When we arrived at hospital there was a team of about 16 people waiting for my boy. They tried for another 17 minutes before calling me to take my boys hand. They told me he was gone and they couldn’t do no more! My heart shattered into 1 million pieces, this is my son… He’s not dead, do something!
The hours that followed were unbelievable, we had the police visit our house and ask us lots if questions! We stayed with Tyler at the hospital all morning…. I couldn’t let him go!
I had no choice of postmortem as Tyler died suddenly at home. Conclusion of his death turned out to be SIDS. There is no known cause of this… Just risk factors.
The last 2 years have been so hard, twice I thought I was losing my mind and needed to be admitted! I relied massively on children are butterflies as I had no support from the hospital as Tyler was too old to be classes as neonatal! The friends I have made and the off loading and tears at our meeting have been a god send. Thing have become easier, my heart still cries for my little boy and I remember everything as it was yesterday. This will not fade, but I have learned in this 26 months that life does go on and it’s so valuable, Hayden is the light of my life, of course Miya too!
A massive thank you to Ann, Clare, Michelle,Anne-Marie, Rach, Becs, Jo, Jackie, Max, Bara and Kerrie who were all there for me in the hardest months! And hope I have been there for all who lost a child after me.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story again :/
( mummy to Hayden 4 in August and butterfly Tyler who would have been 2 and 3 months )July 22, 2013 at 8:12 pm #2472jaydens-mummySpectator
Thank you Sarah that was a very brave and selfless thing to do. I am sorry I haven’t been able to bring the stories across from the old forum.
As you say I think it will help our new families, so I hope others will be able to re write their stories again.
Your’e an amazing lady and very brave..
Thank you for your support xxxJuly 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm #2473Eva’s mummySpectator
Welldone Sarah for reposting this. I will also re write mine.
My name is Rachel and my first pregnancy was great probably the best you could hope for. I was 13 days over due and was due to go into hospital for being induced on sunday 9th September 2007 but on the sunday morning things started for themselves. They happened very quickly as my first pains started at 9am and by 10am with contractions less than 2 minutes apart I was down the hospital.
This is where things went down hill very quickly. I arrived in a lot of pain I was put in a room by myself for quite a while before anyone came to check on me, then a junior midwife came in and I was talking to her and obviously in a lot of pain she replied I cant talk to you until your pains stop well hello they were not stopping but over about 10-15 minutes different midwives came in and finally listening to what I was telling them there faces seemed to change and I had a probe put on babys head followed by a scan machine coming in. Still none the wiser really to what was wrong they told me my baby had died around me Julian was on the floor quite hysterical but im still not understanding what is happening until about 10 minutes later it started to sink in. my baby had gone but why and how we had a post-mortem done but this showed nothing. So still very hard to this day not having a reason as to why our baby was taken from us as he was healthy and even had a heart beat while I was at the hospital.
this was a very traumatic time as my sister and neighbour had both just had there babies too.
I was the one going home without my baby.
my first thought was I need to have another baby so as soon as my body was ready that is what we did so by the following September I had Liam and was induced 2 weeks early and ten I went on to have Alicia 3 weeks early both time being watched very carefully with at least 4-6 scans in each pregnancy.
Over time this has been very hard to cope with but we have got through this and got stronger each year that has passed.
Callum will never be forgotten but the pain is not as hard now.
Rach mummy to Callum born asleep 10-09-2007 Liam born 26-09-2008 and Alicia born 01-04-2011.July 22, 2013 at 9:11 pm #2474Pork ChopsSpectator
Thank you Ann 🙂
Aww Rach, thank you 🙂
lots of love to you and Callum with always be in your heart!
XxxJuly 23, 2013 at 10:31 pm #2475michelle-hopkinsSpectator
Sarah, thank you for sharing this, you have definatly touched a nerve inside me, love you to bits along with Hayden and Mia and i cant forget Tim, as between the 4 of you, you have kept me going and Sarah you have got me through some dark times. Thank you for being an amazing cousin and supporting me and standing by me throughout and after my pregnancy with Angelo Jack
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