Hi Jackie,
I think you will always wonder what Kyle would of looked and how he would have been if he was here and I don’t think you should feel guilty about comparing him to Cian at all, I think it is perfectly normal and a natural way of thinking.
I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and I feel guilty that I don’t spend as much time going up the cemetery because I am working and that I probably don’t spend as much time crying about Emmie now as I first did. But like you I wouldn’t be having this baby if Emmie was here and I am very greatful for another chance.
You sound like you have so much going on at this time, just take each step / day as it comes and don’t beat yourself up about how you are feeling, if you feel like crying then don’t bottle it up.
I hope tomorrow is a lovely day and that it is not as bad as you feel today.
Happy 2nd Birthday Kyle x
Carla
xxx
