Feeling really rubbish x


    Oh I’m so sorry to read that you are struggling but can relate to all the emotions you describe. It’s normal. I know hearing that doesn’t help. Nothing any of us can say will make it better but I hope you find some comfort talking to us, because we understand.

    When I lost Grace I felt numb. I couldn’t sleep but I wanted to hide away. Sometimes I tried to carry on as “normal”, I had to because I already had my son, but it was painful. I could be with people and just feel incredibly alone. I think we could write a book with the insensitive comments people make, one’s that stick in my mind, “never mind we can have our 2nd baby together now” (it took me a further year to get pregnant), “you could donate your breastmilk to the hospital”. I have never been able to fully forgive some “friends” for how they behaved & how thoughtless they were.

    All I can promise is that it does get better. I know that seems impossible now, I remember thinking it could never get better but it does. In time you learn to cope & the tears come less often. I think about Grace every day but I can smile now. Every now & then something catches me out and I’ll sob, but mostly you’ll cope & be happy.

    Talk as much as you feel able. My grief hit badly after 6 months, I had counselling then which really helped. Just talking & crying every week, getting the emotions out, made me deal with things. The day of my last counselling session I discovered I was pregnant with Evie – she will be 2 at the end of the month.

    Sorry for my long reply. I just want you to know that it’s OK to feel how you do. It’s not nice but it’s all part of this sad journey.

    Take care. Always here to listen.

    Max, x